Privacy Policy

Last Updated: April 25, 2026

1. Introduction

Thank you for visiting! Although the website ("https://expect-delays.com") itself is quite unremarkable, we ("Expect Delays") are committed to protecting your privacy. This Privacy Policy should give you insight into how we handle your information and the interactions you might have while visiting our subpar website. Please keep in mind that since we do not collect any personal data, this policy is intentionally brief. (We like to keep things simple around here.)

2. Information We Collect

We do not collect any personal information. (That was easy!)

3. How Do We Use Your Information?

Because we do not collect any personal information, we do not use your information. There are no analytics tracking, marketing campaigns, or data sharing activities occurring on this website. We make an effort to make this website as simple as possible. (Except for the video background, which is just there to look cool and has no tracking capabilities.)

4. Do We Share Your Information with Third Parties?

We do not share any personal information with third parties because we do not collect any personal information. There are no partners, advertisers, or affiliates receiving data from our website. (It would be nice to have someone to share data with, but alas, we have no data to share.)

5. Cookies and Tracking Technologies

We do not use cookies, tracking pixels, web beacons, or any other similar technologies to collect information about your browsing activity. You are solely responsible for managing your browser settings regarding cookies from third-party websites you may visit. (Our website is cookie-free, so you can enjoy it without worrying about calories... or tracking.)

6. Security

Because we do not collect personal data, there is no personal data to protect. We do take reasonable measures to maintain the security and integrity of our website infrastructure, but this does not involve protecting user information as we don't have any. (A lot of our time and effort is focused on keeping the video background running smoothly, not on protecting data we don't have.)

7. Children’s Privacy

Our website is not directed at children under the age of 13, and we do not knowingly collect personal information from children. If we were to discover that we had inadvertently collected personal information from a child under 13, we would take steps to delete that information immediately. (But since we don't collect any information at all, this is more of a formality than a concern.)

8. Changes to This Privacy Policy

Because our practices regarding data collection are non-existent, this Privacy Policy is unlikely to change significantly. However, we reserve the right to update this policy at any time. Any changes will be reflected on this page. Please check back periodically. (If we ever decide to start collecting data, which is highly unlikely, we will update this policy accordingly. The good news is that you will have one more chance to look at this kickass background video!)

9. Contact Us

If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us at: privacy@expect-delays.com. (We promise to respond to your email as soon as possible, but since we don't collect data, we might not have much to say. We do not answer questions related to our background video. Why are there sparks? Is there a fire? Why is the video so smooth? Is it magic? Is it raining fire? Or is it just a really good video? We will never know!)